Trying to find something uplifting, I stumbled across this heart-warming Christmas ad for a Co Fermanagh pub, Charlie’s of Enniskillen. I was immediately struck by the story’s message about loneliness and social connection.
It begins with an elderly man, alone in a cemetery, placing flowers on a grave. He walks through a town centre, lifting his cap to a pair of teenage girls, who ignore him, and approaches a man sitting on a bench, who raises his newspaper, so he doesn’t have to engage in conversation. He then goes into a pub and sits by himself, until a dog wanders over and its owners, a young couple, ask if they can join him. So begins a new friendship.
Loneliness is an epidemic. The most recent official loneliness survey of the New Zealand population found around 656,000 New Zealanders aged 15+ felt persistently lonely in the last four weeks — that is without the company and conversation that so many of us take for granted. We’re living longer and facing many more years alone after losing our partners. Separation rates are soaring. Children have busy lives of their own, so we assume loneliness is a problem isolated to seniors. However, the facts are quite different. Whilst it is important that we address the social isolation issues facing seniors, only two out of 15 lonely New Zealand adults are 65 years of age or over. Loneliness in New Zealand adults is highest among youth aged 15–24. Why is that?
The internet provides opportunities to electronically transact with people and organisations, without face-to-face interaction. With less face-to-face contact, however, there are less opportunities to form meaningful relationships — that is, relationships where you can confide in, trust, and depend on each other. With less meaningful relationships, there is greater risk of loneliness.
Social media provides the opportunity to have many more ‘friends’. However, these new ‘friends’ are typically not meaningful relationships. With more time consumed by these non-meaningful relationships, there can be less time for meaningful relationships. And with less meaningful relationships, there is greater risk of loneliness. Furthermore, social media can lead to people who are lonely getting in a spiral — where, to become less lonely, they spend more time chasing ‘friends’ on social media to only become more lonely as they lose the meaningful relationships they have.
So, come on. It’s Christmas — time to pick up the phone and call that old friend, neighbour, or retired judge and just say hello. Next year. JANZ will work with you to support charities that solve this problem of loneliness.
JANZ offers connection for all judicial officers under our “Judges for Life” programme. Please join us at one of our after-work gatherings in 2024. Better still, join us at one of our ‘break-a-way’ weekends planned in 2024 in Christchurch and Karaka. Just time out for you and your partner to enjoy the company of others while doing something meaningful and different, and talk, if you want to, about the things that matter and are of importance to you and your family as you serve the law.