K, this really must stop. But we couldn’t resist sharing this collection sent in by a dear reader. Last one — promise. Nothing on Mr T next issue. Nada. Nothing. Hugest nothing ever. We have no cards left to play.
But... well, he’s dropped dozens of verbal bombshells, and we had to show you the five executive orders that won someone a box of Joiy wine!
“Yeah, why not. What the hell?” – Trump’s zingers at the National Prayer Breakfast
The first full month of Donald Trump’s second presidency is almost over. Normally, it would take a sitting president a long time to fill a book with memorable quotes, because most incoming leaders like to tread carefully as they adjust to their new role.
However, Trump is not most presidents. In his first few weeks back in office, he’s done exactly what he’s been doing for decades: shooting his mouth off about anything and everything that crosses his mind.
Here are just some of the zingers, clangers, and jaw-droppers Trump has delivered in speeches, interviews — and of course, on social media — since returning to office:
“I was saved by God to make America great again.”
Trump’s inauguration speech, 20 January
“We gave it to Panama and we’re taking it back.”
Trump on the Panama Canal, 20 January
“They wanted to restrict you to 38 gallons of water a day. That sounds like a lot, but it’s not when you’re a rich person and you like to take a shower.”
Trump reacting to the California wildfires, 21 January
“He’s a horrible human being. You have rich people that are very nice. But this guy’s a terrible person.”
Trump describing California governor Gavin Newsom, 22 January
“I think Greenland we’ll get because it has to do with freedom of the world.”
Trump pushing his Greenland plan again, 25 January (leading to Danes petitioning to buy California in response).
“I’m the most upwardly mobile politician in history.”
Trump at a Las Vegas rally, 25 January
“He’ll call you back in two months — he’s extremely busy sleeping.”
Trump taking a shot at Joe Biden, same Vegas rally, 25 January
“We’re renaming the Gulf of Mexico into the Gulf of America, right? And Mexico, actually, they were thrilled when they heard. They said, ‘That’s nice.’”
Trump, Vegas rally, 25 January
“We identified and stopped $50 million being sent to Gaza to buy condoms for Hamas. They’ve used them to make bombs. How about that?”
Trump signing the Laken Riley Act, 29 January
“He’s just got a good line of bullshit.”
Trump savaging Pete Buttigieg during a plane crash briefing, 30 January
“They will never give me a Nobel Peace Prize.”
Trump at a press conference with Israeli PM Netanyahu, 4 February
“This could be so bad — this could be so magnificent.”
Trump, cryptically, 4 February
“Yeah, why not. What the hell?”
Trump forgetting it’s a Prayer Breakfast, 6 February
“You are a handsome devil. And your wife’s even better looking.”
Trump, again at the Prayer Breakfast, 6 February
“Woke is gonzo.”
Trump, same event, 6 February
“CBS should lose its licence.”
Trump vs. 60 Minutes, after they released exactly what he asked for, 6 February
“Elon was a recluse, but we made him unreclusive.”
Trump reflecting on Musk, 7 February
“I’m committed to buying and owning Gaza.”
Trump, airborne on Air Force One, 9 February
“At my direction, we’re going to make the Kennedy Center GREAT AGAIN.”
Trump declares war on a performing arts centre, 9 February
“I can’t not dance.”
Trump, Fox News interview, 9 February
“There’s no need to build new nuclear weapons. We can already destroy the world 50, 100 times over.”
Trump, White House press conference, 13 February
And in case you missed these…
“Canada will be our 51st state.”
Trump, Oval Office, 14 February
“Ukraine was the apple of Putin’s eye.”
Trump, 18 February
“Nobody in history has had worse publicity than me.”
Trump to Sean Hannity, 19 February
“Zelensky? Just a modestly successful comedian.”
Trump, 19 February
“Zelenskyy better move fast or he won’t have a country left.”
Trump doubling down, 19 February
“LONG LIVE THE KING.”
Trump, referring to himself, 19 February
“There is no better place on Earth than the USA under Donald J. Trump.”
Trump, Miami, 19 February
“Should I run again? You tell me.”
Trump tears up the US Constitution at a Black History Month reception, 20 February
“Why does the Gulf of Mexico cover more of us than Mexico?”
Trump at a Republican Governors’ meeting, 20 February
“We’re going to inspect Fort Knox to make sure the gold’s actually there.”
Same meeting, 20 February
“Justin’s a loser. Always has been.”
Trump on Justin Trudeau, 21 February
“Joe Biden is dumber than ever before. Things have happened to him.”
Same interview, 21 February
And finally…
“ELON IS DOING A GREAT JOB BUT NEEDS TO GET MORE AGGRESSIVE!”
Trump’s online pep talk for Musk, 22 February
“We had no wars during my first term.”
Trump (who apparently forgot about Syria), 22 February
“There are people on Social Security who are over 160 years old — including one aged 360.”
Trump, CPAC speech, 22 February
“Make Argentina great again.”
Same speech, 22 February
“I beat George Washington. I love beating George Washington.”
Same speech, 22 February
“Every single thing Biden touched turned to shit.”
Trump, swearing at a podium, 22 February
“That’s the most beautiful language — I have no idea what he said.”
Trump, immediately after Emmanuel Macron spoke, 24 February
Conclusion: We tried not to, but…
We promised no more Trump next time. Let’s see if we can stick to that.