AND THE WINNER IS: Judge Paul Geoghegan
Congratulations, Paul. Your prize is ready for you — fire through your details to Gerard.
Five executive orders:
1. The use of the word “like” as a meaningless filler in sentences. Like bugger off like and learn how to like string a proper like sentence together.
2. The use of the term “reach out”. I’d like to reach back by punching you in the face.
3. Being required to drive at 30kph on a completely deserted stretch of cone-festooned road works at midnight. For the record — I never keep to the limit.
4. Being told counsel’s Christian name in court. “Oh, hi Peter/Paul/Mary. I’m so pleased we’ve met. We should like hook up on Insta sometime like.” I’m not interested unless we’re at a social function together, and even then, it’s marginal.
5. The automated corporate voice message that tells me I’m incredibly special and valued while at the same time keeping me waiting for hours! I’m onto you guys.